It’s very rare that I remember my dreams I have while sleeping. They usually have to touch something deep and emotional for me to remember — and even then, I only remember “snatches” of the dreams. Not too long ago, I dreamt a lovely dream — Neil and Sandra; Mike and Susie; Kevin and Barbie — all dear friends from college (or shortly after); and my wife Mary and I were, for some unknown but happy reason, gathered for a reunion of sorts. We laughed and talked of old times, of getting older, of health scares. It was really great “seeing” these old friends. When I awoke, I realized and meditated on several things:
a) the many wonderful friendships God has blessed me with over the years – the names and faces passed through my mind. Childhood and high school friends who made growing up fun and what childhood should be; dear college friends who helped keep me grounded (when it would have been easy to sow oats that would haunt me today) – friends in adulthood: Air Force friends who became a “band of brothers” – theater friends who helped me find artistic creativity, shared great love, and taught me how to have fun; spiritual friends who have helped me grow as a leader and in my faith.
b) the devastating impact children, distance and time (age) can have on friendships, making them more like “deeper” acquaintances. Don’t get me wrong – children are great (I wouldn’t trade mine for the world), but they do impact friendships as your time is limited; distance wreaks havoc on friendships; and age (time) diminishes the energy we once had for the frequent get-togethers (plays, dinners, parties, etc).
c) but “at the end of the day,” I realize that these are not acquaintances — for if I had a deep, real need – these people would respond, they would cross the distance, find the energy, make “room” in their lives, they would support me, for the bond of friendship remains. This has been demonstrated in loss, in crisis, in the milestones of life. And I am grateful as I realize this. I am grateful as I think on the friends and friendships that have come throughout my life from childhood to today. I hope as I continue to age, that I’ll never forget the need and meaning of friends and that I’ll “make room” in my life for relationships and not let the “tyranny of the urgent,” things, or age crowd people out.
Ants in the Pants of Faith 